Smells like December

we've come to the last month of 2009 already and everything seems to happen too fast i can't catch up. i pray for a better year everyday but it only gets worst, i wonder when this cycle will ever end. looking back to 2008, have you fulfilled your 2009 resolutions? i can't remember what mine was but i'm sure i wanted 2009 to be a good year. i've got so many things runnning through my mind now. i don't know what i'm going to do after graduation and this is haunting me everyday. i hate the unknown, i'm afraid of the unknown.. i need some directions in life and having no directions makes you feel stupid. as helpless as i am, i wonder how are my other friends feeling too? i don't wanna be left alone behind the rest because i want to move on in life and be successful one day. i've failed so many times in life and it's so tiring to pick yourself up each time because you're too afraid to fall again and the hardest part is to pick yourself up. i can only look forward to the holidays now in a weeks time because i've not been attending classes as much as i wished i had. this holidays will serve as a 'break' from everything. it sucks to think about this now i need.... a holiday again.